31 Scary Movie Mini Reviews 2023 – Part 1

Last year I reviewed 31 scary movies, one for each day of October. This October I’m doing it again! Today is halfway through October, so here are the first 15.

Scary Movie Mini Review #1: Kiss of the Vampire (1963) Directed by Don Sharp

This lesser Hammer Horror film has a garish poster that promises “giant devil bats summoned from the caves of hell to destroy the lust of the vampires!” Not surprisingly, the bats are normal sized cheesy rubber puppets on fishing line. Despite that, this movie has a unique tone to it, something surprisingly magical and haunting that’s abandoned in the goofy and rushed climax. 

A newlywed couple are on their way by motor car to their honeymoon. They break down somewhere in the German mountains near a castle, and of course there’s a menacing man watching them from a castle window. They end up at a strangely empty inn and are invited to sup with the wealthy doctor and his children who live in the castle. Unsurprisingly the doctor and his children are vampires, but they’re a different type, more satanic personality cultists than undead blood suckers. The young wife is slowly lured into this cult’s clutches, and the husband and local Van Helsing wannabe must save her. All this is rote cliché, but what stands out as unique is the slow, menacing pace and tone, the texture of long gray rainy days and gloomy moonlit nights. These vampires remind me more of the secret society in Eyes Wide Shut than the Draculas in countless vampire flicks, and their menace is more in the way they corrupt your soul than your blood. It’s a pity that the ridiculous rubber bats flap in at the end and ruin everything.

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31 Scary Movie Mini Reviews – Part 2

This October, to celebrate Halloween, I’m writing 31 mini reviews of scary movies. Here are the final 16:

Scary Movie Mini Review #16: The Midnight Hour (1985)
Directed by Jack Bender

This 80s made-for-TV movie is a bit of everything: part Stephen King small town horror, part creature feature, part teen comedy, part… musical? Seeing LeVar Burton dance the Get Dead dance has to be seen to be believed. An ancient curse comes back to haunt a small New England town. Our teen heroes accidentally trigger this curse then have to resolve it on Halloween night, all while throwing a wild Halloween house party and dealing with an increasing hoard of zombies, vampires and ghosts. This is all way more fun than scary, think a Halloween version of  the original Jumanji, and the 80s styles and zany makeup and costumes alone make it worth sitting through some of the more boring sections. The gravestones are made of flimsy wood, the wolf man looks more like a thin guy in an ape suit, the filmmakers can’t decide if the movie is set in the 80s or 50s—a good chunk of the movie is just pretending to be American Graffiti—but it’s still a lot of fun to watch and an endearing Halloween treat.

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31 Scary Movie Mini Reviews – Part 1

This October, to celebrate Halloween, I’m writing 31 mini reviews of scary movies. Here are the first 15:

Scary Movie Mini Review #1: The Munsters (2022)
Directed by Rob Zombie

A surprisingly cute, very silly and fairly faithful prequel to the original Munsters TV show. The stacked-to-the-ceiling art design, crazy colorful neon lighting and off-kilter camera angles are bonkers but mostly fun. My only quibbles: too much background music telegraphing the comedy when it’s already working fine without it, and maybe a bit too drawn out of a running time with a weirdly abrupt ending. If you like the Munsters and want to admire Rob Zombie’s unique filmmaking style without watching an R-rated gore-fest, I think you’ll mostly enjoy this.

Scary Movie Mini Review #2: The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)
Directed by Oz Perkins

Tragic drama by way of horror, the Blackcoat’s Daughter is a story about an emotionally isolated young woman who feels so alone that she’s willing to be accepted by anyone who will have her, or in this case, any thing. The film is set in the depths of two frigid, snow-bound Februaries and vividly captures the desolate feelings winter can summon. Some disturbing violence unfolds, but it’s surprisingly overshadowed by empathetic, overwhelming sadness. An effective supernatural chiller that also feels very real.

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Creating a Pumpkin Pinhole Camera Obscura

I wanted to do something special for Halloween last October to help promote my company, and I hit upon the bonkers idea of turning a pumpkin into a pinhole camera obscura. I hollowed out a pumpkin, put a cardboard frame with wax paper attached to it inside, and put a pinhole lens on one side and a hole for shooting through on the other. It turns out that pumpkins aren’t light tight, so I also had to cover the whole thing in black duct tape. The pinhole lens i made wasn’t able to produce the most detailed images, so I focused on creating silhouette images by back lighting the subjects I shot. All of this could have just as easily been done with a cardboard box, but where would the fun be in that? Here are some of the images I created with this bizarre device.

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